I have inspected the new mouse. My report is mixed.

A pet POV review, as filed.

I have inspected the new mouse. The proportions are wrong. The whiskers are synthetic. It does not smell of anything edible.

However: it travels well when batted under the radiator, and it does not squeak, which is a relief. The texture is acceptable. I retain the option to ignore it entirely tomorrow.

Score: 6 / 10, pending further observation.

— T.